First of all, the terms ‘boy‘ and ‘girl‘ are just terms – words made up by someone or some people, at some point in life, many moons ago. One can choose to change the words to ‘per’ and ‘par’ or some other made up word or sound and it wouldn’t matter. Words mean nothing but what we give them.
On gender identity
The issue regarding gender identity is misplaced. The problem shouldn’t be about gender, it should be about stereotyping.
- Being a boy or a girl – or ‘per’ or ‘par’ – is simply about biology. There are only two genders and one can differentiate between the two by their internal organs and reproductive system, as well as what is commonly known as sexual organs – the penis and vagina. Due to more advanced science and technology and the gender identity issues today, the sexual organs can be changed. However, we are referring to them from birth and not after transition.
What you came out as, when you were born is your gender. (We will get to the choices further down this post).
- Now, the issue we have in our society and why some people are having problems with being called boys or girls is that society in general has these unnecessary roles for each gender to assume, with expectations of how they ought to act, what they should wear, how they should feel, talk, look, etc. This means that certain feelings, looks, clothing, actions is exclusive to a specific gender – which is purely a biological concept and shouldn’t be connected.
- When boys or girls decide they are the opposite gender, they are simply playing into the stereotype of their desired gender speaking, acting, feeling and looking the way they want to but cannot, due to the said roles and expectation placed on them because of their natural gender. This is fundamentally misguided in itself because a boy, for example, wanting to be a girl because he feels, talks, acts, looks or wants to look like a girl means that all girls feel, talk, act and look a certain way. We know this isn’t true. Girls (and boys) come (and should come) in various forms, regarding feelings, actions, looks, manner of speech, etc. Some girls are “girly” (which is the stereotypical role and expectation by society, and this is what boys in general, who want to be or believe they are girls gravitate towards); some are “tomboyish/butch/masculine” (Again, a stereotypical term for girls who naturally do not fall into the stereotypical role and expectation placed on them and are said to act like the opposite gender – this action and look or feeling being the stereotypical role for boys, by society); some girls are somewhere inbetween “girly” and “tomboyish” and some are right in the middle, which is usually neither girly nor tomboyish – some have called girls like this, “plain”.
The same is said also of a girl who wants to be or decides she is a boy. This decision often comes as a result of relating more to the stereotypical role of a boy, which should be guided differently other than with the encouragement that she is a boy.
- The terms, boy and girl – which is a term coined to differentiate between people with different natural bodily functions – should not determine how a boy or a girl should act, feel, look, speak, etc. There is no one biological/natural role in the dna for boys or girls besides bodily functions. Personality, character, behaviour and expression of self through words, thoughts or deeds should not be a sign of gender and this where we have got it wrong. This is simply an artificial construct. This is why some people are seeking to break out of their imposed role and expectation by taking drastic measures to change their physical body, because they naturally cannot, for the life of them, fit into these roles.
- If everyone was left to be who they are inside (which is their true self), there would be no gender identity crisis. If every boy and girl were taught to behave according to their individual personalities, yet understand that they have naturally different bodily functions, there wouldn’t be a massive gap between the two and there shouldn’t be. If a little boy or a little girl was allowed to grow and gravitate towards whatever he/she was connected to at each phase in their lives and simply taught to be kind, respectful, peaceful, loving, generous and all that good stuff, we would all be unique in our personalities but similar in the way we treat each other. Instead, each gender is molded and taught to behave like others of the same gender, without their parents/guardian being aware of and taking the time to get to know who this new Being is and what he/she is naturally like.
A boy who is naturally “butch” is not more of a boy than one who is naturally “feminine” or “girly”. It is biologically impossible. The same applies to girls. There should be no “boys are like this” and “girls are like that” when it comes to anything but bodily functions, simply because there are definitely boys who are not like this and girls who are not like that and they shouldn’t feel any less than or weird. Both genders should be taught to be fair and just individuals who are true to themselves and accepting of others. If children are taught to understand and respect the differences between us, as well as the similarities we all share, things will start to change and this is where we are headed towards. There will be kinks and holes to fall into along the way, as we advance towards who we truly are.
- The gender neutral movement is present because some boys and girls do not want to be placed in a stereotypical box, and rightly so but taking the terms “boy” and “girl” as the issue is still playing into the stereotype. Displacing those who are okay with the terms isn’t the correct way to go about it. One shouldn’t rob Peter to pay Paul, as the saying goes. Instead, we should simply denounce the roles and expectations placed on boys and girls by everyone becoming free to look, act, speak and think the way they naturally feel like without societal pressure, ridicule, etc.
On sexual orientation
Like gender identity, this is a misplaced and unnecessary issue.
- This is simple. There is nothing wrong with people being attracted to whomever they naturally feel a connection to. It doesn’t matter if a boy, for example, is attracted to only boys or to both boys and girls. Same with a girl. Again, the imposed roles and expectations of society plays a part in why this has become a confusing issue for many.
If it comes to the issue of reproduction, biology is simple: Healthy Sperm and Eggs will make a baby. If people want to make a baby, this is what they need. This is going to change at some point, too and it has started with there not being a need for the act of sexual intercourse in order to reproduce. Artificially, anything is possible.
However, sexuality isn’t just about reproduction and this is the part we are addressing here.
- Attraction has everything to do with energy. Energy is spiritual. Spiritually, there is no gender, there is just vibration or energy, like air, light, water, sun, moon, gravity, etc. Therefore, when someone is attracted to someone else, it naturally has nothing to do with gender. However, societal expectation and roles have forced many to only look towards the opposite sex/gender for connection. It is an issue of mental conditioning and an artificial construct. Those who naturally feel a stronger connection to people of the same sex/gender are made to feel less than, weird and unnatural.
There are many who experience feelings of attraction and connection to those of the same gender but because of this conditioning, they either feel that something is wrong with them and they hide from these feelings or they suppress the feelings and dismiss them as nothing. It has been the norm but as life is evolving and we are moving forward towards our spiritual advancement – which births all the evolutionary processes we experience (knowingly or unknowingly) – these issues are coming up and changing.
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